2011-05-17 Mort: As you had better already be aware of, I would like to be on the crew. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Wait... why isn't he already on the crew? He's so awesome and smart and handsome and stuff!" Well, you're right about all that, but apparently the reason I'm not on the crew is because of some trust issues between the current members of the crew and myself. Now you're thinking, "What?! Trust issues?! No way! I totally trust you!" Thanks for that, but not everyone trusts me for some reason. But why?

Some years ago, I allegedly got some guards' passwords and allegedly used them to get into the guard forums. I allegedly perused the forums for many months before [Calico Tiger] noticed some irregularities in IP addresses and [Hedda] decided to investigate. All the guards were forced to change their passwords. Now you're thinking, "No wonder some people don't trust him with low level council privs that he wouldn't be able to use malevolently even if he wanted!" and you go on to think, "I don't trust him either! After all, he used the privs he allegedly stole to ruin Elftown, ban innocent members, infect everyone with viruses, destroy wikis, and harass countless orphans!"

Whoa there, nellie! I didn't do any of that! All I did was allegedly read things of interest about myself and use the forums to my advantage in convincing the guards and the crew that my existence was beneficial to Elftown. I used the forums to find wikis that needed sprucing up, members that needed help, and to find out what I needed to do to better myself, so I could eventually get onto the crew myself. It worked for a while. I eventually got hired as a guide, thanks to my alleged reading of the forums. Then [Hedda] fired me and some other fun stuff went down, but my point is, I had all the privs Elftown has to offer at my fingertips and what did I do with them? I used them only to find out what I needed to do to help out and gain trust. I didn't delete wikis, rummage through personal messages, destroy mainstreet, rig contests, ban or unban members, or anything else and I had no plans to do any of that. My goal on Elftown isn't to destroy, but rather to drum up interest, invite members, keep Elftown going, report bugs, and eventually become vicemayor. So you honestly think you can't trust me with the ability to edit mainstreet, delete wiki comments (which I'm firmly against in all situations), and view forum and password protected wikis (which I can already do anyway, until [Hedda] gets around to fixing that little issue)? I've allegedly secretly had the privs in the past to do all of that, but not once did I abuse them, because I don't want to cause harm. I just want to help out. But you're still thinking, "If he were a crew member, he would redirect new members to that stupid diner, go around making an ass of himself on official wikis, make the rest of us look bad, let that Turkey jerk on his username, mess up mainstreet, and all kinds of terrible things!"

If you honestly think I would be so stupid, you don't know me at all. If I were on the crew, I would toe the line. There's no way in hell I would give anyone a reason to distrust me or fire me, because that would completely ruin my chances of ever becoming a guard. So, what I want from you guys, is for you to at least seriously consider allowing me to be on the council. If I screw it up, then I'll never ask to be on the council again and you'll have an actual legitimate reason not to allow me. And as a council member, you can certainly bet I won't be hanging around with and encouraging people like Sammie and Artsie, like I currently do out of boredom. I'll also be extremely helpful (ha ha, like I'm not already, right?). I'm here all day every day, so I could use that time fixing official wikis, badging members, and all that fun stuff. So, thoughts? Reasons why you still don't trust me? Ideas on what I should do to get you to trust me? Funny anecdotes? Explanations, other than jealousy, on you don't like me? Dirty pictures? Feel free to post anonymously. I'm giving this wiki to Akane, so don't worry about me trying to find out who said what, since I won't be able to.

2011-05-17 I am indifferent, really. I like you. I think you are funny but, at times you can be...well, you can be quite the jerk. This business with encouraging Artsie and Sammie is enough for me not to want you on the Crew. You have no idea how irritating that is. It is bad enough we have to deal with them in the first place. However, I will give you Kudos for sticking up for us all the times you have.

I have no doubt that you would make an excellent crew member IF you had not hacked us. That alone makes me very uneasy. I don't know the entire story. I missed that. 

So yeah, there is my 2 cents.

2011-05-17 Mort: To be fair though, it was the guards that I allegedly hacked. Allegedly.

2011-05-17 Even so, it still makes you untrustworthy. I am sure if you didn't actually hack them, [Hedda] would know. And, why are our comments not showing our names? I am confused.

2011-05-17 Mort: I set it up that way. Because I felt like it. But the alleged hacking was only so I could read the forums to gain information that, if I was a crew member, I would have anyway. So I, allegedly, did what you do on a daily basis, just without permission first. I could have done so much worse, allegedly, but I didn't want to. I still don't want to. And that was several years ago anyway. Not to defend it, though. I was just curious to see how Elftown works, see what each priv did, and see all the cool stuff that was going on behind my back. I'm still interested in all that stuff. Because it is interesting.

2011-05-17 I understand that. I am sure you have changed over the years, and matured. But, you have to understand where there others are coming from. Personally, as I said, I am indifferent. If you are made Crew, great...if not, Bob's Diner will still be there.

2011-05-17 Mort: Not if I violently destroy it!!

2011-05-17 That would make us all sad. 

2011-05-17 Mort: But your indifference simply isn't enough. I want to be able to convince you that I am, indeed, as trustworthy and awesome as I claim to be and that I'm definitely someone who should be considered for the crew.

2011-05-17 I understand. But, I am not the one that needs convincing

2011-05-17 O.o Akane want's to know why you own Akane Ice and I have to own this thing ! LOL!

2011-05-17 And how do you make our names not show up?

2011-05-17 There are some fun options at the bottom of the wiki that allow you to not show usernames, times, or even comments. And because!!

2011-05-17 I did not know that...sweet.

Darn it! >.< I do rather like the picture I posted, I just wish it was a little easier to read -

Love,
  Your face mom. Or something.

2011-05-17 I think you would soon become bored were you to be given official privileges, and that you are probably much more helpful and active as you are now :P
I base my judgment on your (alleged) troublemaker tendencies, and from witnessing children desperately want a toy until they have it.

2011-05-17 I think that it is wonderful that you want to help out Elftown so much, assuming that that is truly your motivation in all of this. I think it's great that you've stood up for us so many times, especially in regards to Sammie's accusations, and I think it's really cool that you've discovered so many bugs.

Personally, I've never known you to be anything worse than annoying, antagonistic, and yes, even an asshole on certain occassions. Other crew members, both past and present, though, have witnessed you being far worse. Breaking into forums, stealing passwords, etc., none of that warrants trust. Trust is often difficult to get back after it's lost, and frankly, it doesn't seem as though you've been trying too very hard to regain ours. The way you've been encouraging Sammie and Artsie has been pretty shitty - so what if you're bored, why not do something productive, something that will show us that you really do want to be on the crew, instead of making more headaches for us to deal with while you sit back entertained?

My personal experience with you has show me that you can indeed be helpful, friendly, and polite when you feel like it, and I have no problem with working with you in different areas of Elftown that do not require Council or Guards privs. I don't think that you're that much of a pain in the ass in general, but I do think that you like to instigate drama and bullshit way too much, and that certainly isn't helping your cause.

2011-05-17 Mort: What does trust matter though in this situation? What is it that you wouldn't trust me to do? And how do you expect me to gain your trust without actually being able to show you I can be trustworthy? Being on the crew is a great opportunity to convince you of my alleged trustworthiness. Besides, what do you have to lose?

2011-05-17  If you can't show us that you're trustworthy when you're not on crew, why even bother allowing you on crew? You don't need privs to prove yourself trustworthy. Crew chooses new crewbies based upon several things, and one of those things is indeed how trustworthy they have shown themselves to be as non-crew members. Why make an exception for you?

2011-05-17 Mort: I didn't say I couldn't, I just said that it would be easier to show trustworthiness if I had the opportunity to be on the crew.

How can you possibly determine how trustworthy a new potential crew member is anyway? That's ridiculous. "Hmm... that person has never hacked Elftown and has three contest badges. They must be trustworthy!" But seriously though. What could you possibly have to lose by letting me be on the council? There's nothing I can do except help out and slowly attempt to regain trust.

2011-05-17   People show that they're trustworthy in many ways, and I'm sure that none of them have anything do to with the amount of contest badges they have. Do they have multiple reports made against them (legitimate ones)? Do they cause problems on official pages? Do they help to make things easier for us, or more difficult? If a crew member has worked with them in the past on something unofficial, have they kept to deadlines, interacted with contest participants in a friendly, helpful way, or did they forget about the contest, treat participants badly, etc?

That's not true, you could do plenty to show us that you're not trustworthy if you were in the crew. Sharing private crew conversations and decisions with non-crew members, using privs to get passwords and personal information from members, etc. I'm not saying that these are things that you would choose to do, only pointing out that being on crew doesn't mean that you can ONLY do good things with your privs.

2011-05-17 Mort: Those aren't things I can do with council level privs though. What I'm suggesting is that you at least let me have that much, so I can prove my trustworthiness and reliability, so I can eventually become a guard. With council privs, I can only do good. Until recently, when [Hedda] kicked me out of the council forum that I was allegedly in, I was able to do everything a council member can do except delete wiki comments, edit mainstreet, and access the badge slot. And did I abuse any of that? No. Not just because I couldn't, but I didn't want to abuse any privs and I never have abused any of the privs I've either been given or taken it upon myself to borrow (allegedly).

2011-05-17 If you were serious about this you wouldn't be relying on 'allegedly'. If you did it, you would admit that you did. That would show maturity and responsibility. You're making it clear that you did these things due to the detail you're including so I don't see the point of all this 'allegedly' business.

2011-05-17 Mort: I never denied that I did these alleged things.

2011-05-17 Then why say they're alleged?

2011-05-17 Mort: Why not?

But the question that still must be answered is what could possibly go wrong with me on the council? The only outcome is more work getting done and me having a chance to try to gain trust or me completely botching the chance somehow, getting fired and/or banned, and the council never having to deal with me again. What's to lose?

2011-05-18 Yuriona: I find it ironic that everyone is claiming that Mort isn't trustworthy when in fact he's quite reliable. We can trust him to annoy the crew by egging on ET's *colourful* personalities when he's bored; we can trust him to find all sorts of glitches and bugs, exploit them and then report all of them in the bug forum; and obviously we must already trust him since despite all of these 'allegations', he's still a member of ET! ((I also find it amusing that he insists on using 'alleged' since obviously he isn't going to admit outright that he's guilty and it isn't like the crew has any hard proof he did it either. lmao))

Honestly, I think Mort is one of the more dependable, long standing Elftown members that still hangs around and hasn't lost interest in the goings on here. Sure he's a pain in the ass but we've all been there, done that and other than the irritation and time wasted dealing with the shit he stirred up, what REAL harm has been done by Mort? Anyone? And don't bother with the password stealing and forum reading. First of all, anyone who gets their account hacked should have their arse kicked for not having a better password or for not using some common sense about passwords in general. Secondly, why would anyone want to read the crew forums other than to feed their own ego? Most of the time I dun wanna read 'em, and I am crew! LOL!! Besides, the forums aren't ever as secret as we think so its all rather silly to be upset about that.

He also makes a very valid point: if he is given the chance to be crew and proves us all right by screwing up, all we have to do is bitch slap him back to priv 101 and ban his ass. All of us face that possibility if you think about it. Why did any of us deserve a chance to prove ourselves? Because we played nice and didn't cause trouble? Why does that make someone more trustworthy? To be honest, I'd be more likely to trust someone like Mort who doesn't bother hiding behind a politically and socially correct mask than someone who tries overly hard to please everyone all the time. ((we've been there and done that too now haven't we? *coughartsiecough*lol))

Seriously guys, its time to put aside personal beefs and biases and try to look objectively at this application. We all know Mort in some way or fashion. We know what he has done in the past - both good and bad - and we also know how influential he can be with other Elftown members. He's willing to bring all his skills to the council and work to make Elftown a better place. He's also well aware of the consequences if he mucks things up, just as we all are. Are we really that willing to turn away someone who wants and can help, especially someone with programming skills? Are we so blinded by the past that we can't give someone a chance to prove themselves?

I say we should give him that chance. If he fucks it up, then we can lynch him. Until then, its all just lip service really and that rarely proves anything. :P

2011-05-18 Cid: I concur with Yuriona's statement. At least give him a shot.

2011-05-19 Mort: I'm also inclined to agree.

2011-05-20 Hedda: Seriously, you guys. Mort is totally awesome and handsome and I think we should make him a council member and maybe even a guard! ...*eats ramen*... er, I mean, *does Swedish things*

2011-05-22 Mort: Guys. Hey, guys. Come on. Come on, guys. Hey you guys, come on. Come ooooonn. You guys.

2011-06-01 Not Mort: *violent cough*

2011-07-05 Mort: ...on the subject of potential crew members; [Mystin]. I'm aware some of you are watching his Youtube videos, but why? Why do you watch them?

2011-07-05 Ze Monster; I think most people watch them to laugh, honestly.

2011-07-05 Mort: But surely part of the reason is because you're curious to see what he says about you, right? No, you probably don't care about his opinion, but it's always interesting to see what's being said about you.

2011-07-05 Ze Monster; I don't give a fuck, so I don't watch them. But my friend gets great amusement from his idiocy. So that is why she (and a couple others) are always talking about his videos.

2011-07-05 Mort: So they just sit around and mock people they perceive as stupid and then spread gossip about them?

2011-07-05 Ze Monster; Basically?

2011-07-05 Mort: Terrible, just terrible.

2011-07-05 Ze Monster; Eh. Who cares, in the end?

2011-07-30 Mort: I would think letting me be on the council would be a no-brainer. Me wanting guard level privs, I might could see some people having a problem with, but just being on the council? With only priv 89? The only reason not to allow that is spite, as there's nothing that could possibly go wrong with me having priv 89.

2011-07-30 Spite? No. Lack of trust? Yes.

2011-07-30 Mort: So just what is it you don't trust me with? The ability to write news on mainstreet? The ability to make polls on mainstreet? The ability to change other peoples' privs to at least 90? The ability to access my own badge slot? Or is it the ability to use any page as an index-page? Seriously. I would love know, instead of just being told to piss off basically. What do you think could possibly go wrong? Am I going to hijack the mainstreet poll or something and ruin Elftown completely somehow?

2011-07-30 Speaking for myself: I don't know what could go wrong but I do know that you're good at exploiting things. I have no evidence to suggest that you wouldn't somehow find a way to exploit the priv to do something that you know you shouldn't. (This may not reflect the views of the entire council.)

2011-07-30 Mort: You realize that everything I've ever exploited I've let [Hedda] know about, right? And you should also know I've had priv 72 on Elf12 for some time now without any exploiting or the complete ruination of lives. You seem to think I'm just out to cause trouble and harass people, but that's not even remotely true. It's just insulting that you would think I'm stupid enough to screw up having priv 89.

2011-07-30 Yes, after you've exploited it. I have no involvement with Elf12 (so won't comment). You managed to screw up being a Guide. You didn't even get a lower priv level with that. I like you, you amuse me, you've never done anything to me personally that I know of and you can be helpful when you want to be but you don't seem that trustworthy to me and for that reason, I wouldn't agree with you being on the council. The honest truth.

2011-07-30 Mort: Of course after I exploited it. Until it's been exploited, it isn't a problem and it's not even know. I didn't screw up being a guide by abusing the privilege or something, I was fired for unrelated shenanigans that [Hedda] felt was unbecoming for a guide. And that was over two and a half years ago. But, like I've said, if I do something like that, you have the option to not only fire me and never allow me to have those privs again, but you'll also be able to ban me and be rid of me. So what's the problem here? Don't you think if I was going to do something malicious, I would have done it one of the hundreds of times I had the opportunity?

2011-07-30 I don't know if you would've done it when you had the opportunity before, for all I know you did. Sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear/read. I can only speak for myself and I just wouldn't be comfortable with giving you the privs. If the rest of the council feel the same then there's not really much you can do about it. Not that I know of anyway.

2011-07-30 Mort: Priv 89 isn't any more exploitable than priv 90. Not once have I ever used privs to exploit anything, it's always been something that didn't matter what privs you had. I understand you don't feel comfortable giving me the privs, I just don't understand why you don't. Maybe you don't quite understand the situation?

2011-07-30 I just don't trust you, it really is that simple. I'm not sure what else you want me to say.

2011-07-30 Mort: Don't trust me to do what, though? How can I possibly ever get you to trust me, when you don't even have a reason to not trust me in the first place? Why not just let me have the benefit of the doubt? As I've explained, you have nothing to lose, but a determined worker to gain.

2011-07-30 Then maybe instead of going straight for a priv lowering job, why not try to be involved with something you don't need privs for? Then try and work your way up? You'd perhaps prove you really want to help.

2011-07-30 Mort: You don't think I've tried that? For the past three years I've tried. Every time it's, "Nope, we don't need any help. We've got it covered. ;D" or something similar. I get treated like the common Sammie or Mystin. And why can't I help moderate a contest? Why can't I help organize a wiki or even a roleplaying game? "I just don't trust you." That's all I ever get, no matter how simple or mundane the task. I try to help people out with their problems, but that evidently goes unnoticed. I try to help out where I can, but I pretty much always get turned away. Apparently, someone somewhere said I wasn't worth wasting time on and everybody just went with it, because nobody can seem to give me an actual reason not to let me help.

2011-07-30 Why do you care so much? (I do genuinely want to know. This was not meant to sound rude.)

2011-07-30 You've been helping with Festivals. You weren't shot down there.

2011-07-30 Mort: For a number of reasons (other than the obvious 'I want to help out!'). Mainly, so I can prove you all wrong and vindicate myself, since everyone always wants to insist I'm nothing but a worthless troll. Also, because I'm curious about how Elftown works and I would enjoy seeing what all the privs do and what all I can do with them (which is the driving factor behind anything I've ever done. Curiosity, not malice or the desire to ruin Elftown). Plus, the boy to girl ratio on the crew is too low, so I could be of assistance there. And I want to help out with things like contests that interest me. I want to be able to give my advice in voting for a poem or a piece of art and have it taken seriously, rather than be scoffed at and told to leave. Mostly though, I want to eventually become a guard/vice mayor, which is impossible if I'm not even allowed to be on the council.

2011-07-30  I'd be fine with giving you a shot at being on the council, but it's a group decision, methinks.

2011-10-15 #92105: Council members, guards, and even lesser Elftowners and commoners have just seemed so uptight as of late. You're all so angry and serious it would seem, so I think I'm going to make you all smile. You can't stay mad while you're laughing. :D

2011-10-15 I don't know about uptight and angry and all of that...what I do know is that this ------> is absofrackinglutely adorable!

2011-10-16 #57625: Of course it is, Loth. Of course it is.

2011-10-16 Meow?

2011-10-16 #389: Shut up, Alexi! You're not a cat!

2011-10-17 You're right...I'm an alien

2012-08-20 Mort: Y'know, I've had priv 49 on Elfpack for a year now... I can has priv 89 on Elftown now?

2013-03-27 BOB'S DINER IS HAVING A SALE ON FOOD. BUY ONE FOOD FOR THE PRICE OF ITSELF, PLUS A SMALL MARKUP SO WE CAN MAKE A PROFIT. ALSO, THERE IS TAX. AND SHIPPING AND HANDLING. AND A TIP FOR THE WAITER. BUT IT'S STILL A REASONABLE PRICE, I GUESS. EAT THERE TODAY!

2016-05-27 You know, after all this time, I would half heartedly support Mort for crew.

2016-05-28 Mort: I've actually been one of the Secret Agents for a while now. I work for [Hedda] as a spy, keeping tabs on the rest of the crew for him.

2020-08-23 How's that working out for ya?

2020-08-24 Swimmingly.

2020-08-24 splendid!

2020-08-24 IS IT?

2020-08-25 At this point why not

2020-08-26 HOW SHOULD I KNOW?